Older and Wiser (or Dumber)

I have noticed that the older my kids get, the dumber I am. They just don't believe that I know everything anymore. I had a good thing going for a while. I could tell them just about anything, and because I am the mom, they would believe me.

I could have used this to a much greater advantage, but I didn't, choosing to remain honest with my kids. Honestly, I can't stand it when adults lie to kids. For example, about a year ago I was at the store with some of the kids, and Number Two really wanted some checkout-line-impulse-buy-treat. I said no. She pleaded. I wasn't mean about it, but I told her no.

A "helpful" woman, in about her 60's, intervened. She explained to Number Two that the store wasn't selling those treats today. In fact, I couldn't buy one for her because they simply weren't for sale.

AAAHHHH! Don't LIE to my kid!

Of course, as soon as we left, I told Number Two that this woman, trying to help me, had lied. They were for sale, I just wasn't buying.

So, you would think with all of the honest answers I have given my kids over the years, even looking things up on the internet or at the library when I didn't have an answer, that they would believe me about things.

But no.

A few months ago I was reading a Junie B. Jones book to the girls at bedtime. I came across the name Roger in the book. Number One insisted that I was pronouncing it incorrectly. It was Roe-grrr. Um, no. She had read the book to herself previously, and in all of her first grade wisdom, it didn't occur to her that she might be wrong. No. Clearly I am the one who was struggling to sound out this puzzling name. I called her Roe-grrr for quite a while afterward. She took it well.

There are all kinds of everday examples of this "mom doesn't know best" mentality. Like when I suggest that Number Two walk in a certain path on the way to the van. Like maybe a path that stays furthest away from mud. She, knowing that she can tiptoe around the mud, ignores me, as does Number Three, who then ends up covered in mud. When I ask Number Two why she didn't do as I asked, she explained that she knew she could come through that way clean, and of course she would never have imagined that Number Three would follow unsuccessfully. Unfortuneately, only I, the dumb one, saw it coming.

Recently Number Three tried to convince me that the oldest living person was over 200 years old. I told her no. At MOST it was 120, but I thought somewhere around 115. No, she learned it at school, and I was wrong. I told her that the Old Testament recorded people living to be hundreds of years old at the time of Adam and Eve, but that in modern day, no one lived to be 200. No, she learned it at school, and I was wrong. I looked it up in the newest Guiness Book when I was at Sam's Club. 114. I came home and reported it to her, but I am still not sure she is convinced.

The thing is, not only have I been honest, but I am really smart! Really! I got straight A's in AP classes, and went to BYU on a full tuition academic scholarship, while doing tons of extra-curriculars! Yet, my kids couldn't care less about my resume. The older they get, the dumber I am to them. Period.

I think being a grandparent must be so fun. Especially watching your grandkids see your kids the way they saw you.

Except I haven't given up yet. I have a new strategy. It's called putting them in charge, and then getting to be the advice guru when they get stuck. And hey, it is working! This morning the big girls decided to make Dave breakfast in bed, because they liked what I made for them so much. I told them they were welcome to make it. Hmmm. I think their plan was for me to do it. But they accepted the challenge.

It was fun to be treated as the Wise Breakfast Guru. They wanted to know how long to cook the microwave pancakes? How much frozen fruit should you put in a smoothie? How do you get the yogurt all out of the container and in to the mug for the smoothie? How do you get this thing (Magic Bullet--the best thing I EVER bought from an infomercial, not that I have purchased much that way) to work? And acting as the Wise Breakfast Guru, I let them figure it out for themselves as much as possible, turning the questions back to them by asking what they thought, only offering guidance when neccessary.

In the end, I didn't maximize the opportunity to look super wise and smart in front of my kids like I could have. But they were empowered. They did a great job, felt good about their work, served, and learned.

And that made me feel like a wise parent after all.

Switching Over

For quite some time now, I have considered leaving behind my little blog in msn world, in order to join the blogger world. Among other reasons, I think the layouts are cleaner. But one of the best parts is that it is so much easier to leave comments, as anonymous is an option.

So I am finally switching over, and getting back into the blogging groove.

Let's start the new year with a funny story about Number Two, shall we?

Not long ago when Dave wasn't home for dinner, I had told the girls they could have dessert if they had finished their peas. Well, Number Two had insisted on serving herself, and really, she had too many for one five year old. Like, way too many.

Toward the end of dinner, she looks around the table and says, "I need for everyone to close their eyes while I count to 20." She asked so nicely, that we all obliged.

I didn't peek until the end, at which point, I saw her give the serving bowl of peas a nudge away from her. That was my clue.

After we opened our eyes, I asked her if she had put some of her peas back while our eyes were closed. Her eyes flashed first with the deer in the headlights look, but she quickly recovered, justifying her trick by insisting she had just had too many.

What a girl.