Why More is Merrier

Today I visited briefly with a friend at church about why we were so grateful to have so many children. (She has six.)


In part, it is because motherhood gets better as you get better at it.

When Number One and Number Two were toddlers, I don't think I enjoyed them as much as I should have. I think I fought too many power struggle battles. You cannot win an argument with a toddler or young preschooler. Period. Ever.

Number Three believes her teacher lives at school. Arguing, even with solid logic and reasoning, will not change that. So I don't try. In fact, I embrace this time watching her learn more and more about the world around her, even though there are bumps in her thinking along the way. I don't think I had this perspective when Number One was three.

Now my oldest child is only 8, so I don't claim to be the most experienced mom out there, but I am so grateful for what I have learned already, and how much more I am enjoying the younger children because of it. And because I see the difference in my view of toddlerhood, and how much more magical it is than I gave it credit for the first time around, I am trying to enjoy the older ones more now, because I don't want to look back and wish I had better appreciated the elementary school years.

Enjoy this glimpse into the progression of our family:


I adored Number One as a baby. She was my first. She made me a mother. I watched her sleep and never put her down, because she would cry. I was amazed at her brilliance (and I still am). I ate up every minute with her, but I was so stressed about the whole thing. Motherhood was wonderful but so very overwhelming. My poor first daughter has had to suffer the consequences of being the guinea pig of the children. I so adored her when she was all I had, and I wondered how I could ever love another child as much as her, or physically care for another one, for that matter.


And then came Number Two. And I LOVED having two little girls. Number Two made us laugh and enriched our family. She provided a friendship for Number One that runs deep, despite their opposite personalities. She challenges me, but grounds me too, and continues to help me better appreciate how the world works with her scientific curiosity.


And then came Number Three. Number Three filled our home with greater joy. She is a nurturer by nature, and so competent at watching over all of us. We needed her to take care of us, and brighten us with her sunshine and silliness.


And then Number Four stirred the pot. He added some testosterone, and a healthy dose of huge loves and playfulness. We all love to watch him think and play. He is a running, jumping, galloping delight.


And then Heavenly Father gave us Number Five, who was meant to be part of our family. I felt it at the moment when Number Four first laid eyes on her. I am still getting to know this new little person, but I know she likes to be part of our family team, and doesn't like to be alone. I love to cuddle her tight in my arms.

Sometimes I think about what it might have been like had we only had two children. Now every family is different, and for some families, two may be the right number for them. But for our family, I think it would be like having only a small portion of the piano keyboard. It would still make music, but would lack depth and expression, and some incredible harmonies.

As we have had more children, rather than feel like there is less love to go around, I feel like I have been given the measure needed for the new additions, plus an increase of appreciation and love for those I already had. (Though I do have to admit I almost wish I could grow an extra hand for each new child.)

I'm not sure yet whether five children makes a full keyboard for our family (I might have reached the maximum number of notes I can play), but I am so grateful to have been given the opportunity and responsibility for such a symphony.

And that is why more is merrier.