I struggle immensely with pre-partum depression, but the first four times around I felt great again by 2 weeks post-partum. After Princess, this was not the case. My depression affected my eating, which affected my depression. I wasn't sleeping well either, and I had only recently begun to try and exercise regularly again.
A concerned family member had suggested in a lengthy and heartfelt email that I get some meds for depression. Though I would never judge another person's choice to go this route as there are times when this is wholly appropriate, I did not feel like this was the answer for me. I felt that I needed to make my physical body a priority, especially in regards to regular exercise. Of course eating and sleeping needed attention too.
On Valentine's Day I woke up with a new motivation and strength to do what I was feeling inspired to do. I was unhappy with my attempts to lose weight that had only seemed to result in losing and regaining the same 10 pounds, and I felt I needed help to get my eating back on track, for both weight loss and general health. I looked up the nearest Weight Watchers meeting and told Mr. Bloomers I would be leaving in less than an hour to attend.
Weight Watchers was great. I had done it before years earlier, and love the program because it teaches healthy responsible eating of real regular food--a lifestyle change rather than a quick temporary fix. Within 9 weeks I had lost about 20 pounds and was feeling better.
At this point, I quit Weight Watchers to save the money, but kept doing it on my own. I still eat what my family eats, but I do think about points most days even though I no longer write down everything I eat or religiously track points. If we get Pizza Hut, I eat one slice with lots of veggies rather than 3 or 4 slices. I am careful in my portioning, and I try to really focus on foods that give a lot of bang for the buck...meaning nutritional value for the calories. It probably took me 6 months to get to the point where I feel so good eating such a healthy diet that I generally choose the healthy eating because I want to rather than because I am forcing myself to.
When I read success stories, I like to know the numbers, don't you? I am 5'4". When I started Weight Watchers in February, I weighed about 177. Five kids in less than eight years, plus stress-eating for moves, job changes, grad school for Mr. Bloomers, etc. had taken its toll in a big way. I was a size 14. Fast forward to today. I weigh about 132, and wear a size 4.
Now I haven't been a size 4 since high school, and though healthy eating has helped me find a healthy weight, I have to give the credit for my current body to a recently developed passion for running, especially since I stopped actually trying to lose weight a couple of months ago when I was a size 6.
For most of my life I hated running, but I think that is because I never got good enough at it to enjoy the benefits. This isn't to say that I am that fast or that I will be doing any record setting, but I am in good shape and enjoy most of my runs.
I now run about 25 miles a week, either outside at the crack of dawn, or on the treadmill at home or the gym whenever I can get the chance. I do run while my other kids play in the basement, so long as Princess is napping as she isn't old enough to have the sense to keep her distance.
Though I occasionally have depressed kinds of days, my mind and heart are healthy again. Running has been so great for my mental health. I enjoy my blessings so much more. I feel stronger and healthier and have more energy. I feel greater adoration for Mr. Bloomers and our darling children. I have more patience for them, and savor every delicious moment with them.
I feel like myself again. And
that is the real success.
Afterthought: When I first began contemplating this post some weeks ago, I had planned to post before and after pictures. I have a particularly awful one of me from last Christmas, and was going to steal one from a friend's blog for the after, when I am modeling size 6 Gap jeans at an event she had hosted to launch their newest denim line.
But the reality is, that though I enjoy being thinner, the increased mental and physical health matters to me so much more than the size that I am choosing to go sans photos.
Thanks for reading about my journey to better health...feel free to enlist me as a cheerleader if any of you are making your own similar trek. I would love to support you.
The leader of her group must have graduated from Safety Town himself last year. Seriously, am I that old? This kid is supposed to be around 14 but I swear he looks 8.
