Motherhood is SUCH a Rollercoaster...

sometimes, I just want to get off and throw up! Unfortuneately, you can't get off (though you can throw up...as I often do lately).

Yesterday Dave came home just after the kids had all been tucked in. He found me hiding under the blankets in our bed. I was just completely beaten.

Yesterday was one of those days, where I was left to deal not just with the standard child barfing all over self and floor, pregnant mom barfing, childhood pooping issues, spills, messes, and arguing over toys and "stuff" (and yes, I did deal with all of those yesterday)...but with a constant barage of negativity from my kids.

They yelled at me, called me names, and basically told me how rotten I was for a number of issues, including, but not limited to: incensed hostility with shouts of how much I hate my child after I sent her to her room when she wouldn't apologize after hitting a sibling in the head with a toy hammer (and we don't allow them to use the word hate); being called a liar because I thought I had gotten that child out of the bath first the day before and it wasn't her turn to get out first last night (and we don't allow them to call someone a liar!!); a MAJOR throwdown tantrum over being told that we would not be watching any more shows that day; a tearful "you must not really love me" type of breakdown at bedtime when I revealed that I would not be going with that child on her field trip next month; etc, etc, etc.

Believe me, I could go on and on and on about yesterday. And all three of the girls were represented in my examples from the preceding paragraph. I do get this kind of stuff in doses everyday, but yesterday was a super extra strength dose at a time when I just don't have a whole lot of reserves.

Motherhood sometimes just pushes you down, and kicks you in the guts.

Today was EXTREMELY busy! We were on the go, or on the way to going all day long, from the time I woke up at 6:30 until just now. I was really tired, with off and on nausea and dizziness, and it was very hard to keep up physically with the demands of the day.

But it was SO much better than yesterday. Number Two had the best, most positive and responsible day she has had in weeks. The kids were so good after gymnastics and dinner. Number One practiced her piano. Number Two cleaned the library. At devotional time I told them about my crawling into bed last night, devastated. And told them how pleased I was with them today. How opposite today was, and how much I appreciated it.

Tonight I am exhausted, with laundry left to fold, and some clothes left to lay out for tomorrow. I am physically spent, but completely at peace, as I feel so uplifted by the sweet spirit I felt in our home and with my children today.

I think Eve really did have it figured out...it is better for us to pass through sorrow that we may know by our own experience the good from the evil, and the trials from the blessings.